lil_eric's Xanga

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:11:50 GMT

thanksgiving reflections + a slideshow of sorts

how's it going guys? i hope you and your families had a nice thanksgiving holiday. as for myself, i've been back in new york enjoying the holiday weekend with family and friends. it's been so long that i've had anything truly personal to share on xanga, but i figured that if there is one time of the year to express my gratitude and reflect on how things have been going in my life, thanksgiving seems like an opportune occasion. so, what all am i thankful for? let's see...

my family -- this one's an easy call and needs no introduction. i wouldn't be much of anything without the care and support of my family. now that i've moved out of new york (more on this later), the importance of family in my life has taken on a new meaning, and i'm happy that i'm starting to get into a point of my life where i can begin giving back to them in a meaningful way.

my friends -- for a lot of the same reasons why i'm thankful for having a great family, i'm also thankful for my friends. now that it's been over three years since i graduated from college (and over seven years since high school), i've got a newfound appreciation for the friendships i've had that have withstood the test of the time. i'm also grateful for the new people i met in the last year who've invited me to be a part of their lives, especially during my early days in texas when i really didn't know anyone there (again, more on this later).

my job -- although this is old news to most people who know me in person, i'll probably have to fill in some of the gaps for those of you that only know me via my blog. after having lived in new york for over 20 years -- namely the first 18 years of my life, as well as the 2.5 years after i graduated from college -- i decided to pack up and move to dallas in march 2008 for a new job. at the time, i knew hardly anyone in dallas, but i figured everything would eventually be OK once i got acclimated to the area.

as a way of background, i'd previously worked for a couple of the major investment banks in new york. they were a good place for me to start my career in finance, but after grinding out the long hours, hectic corporate culture, and a variety of other things that weren't good for my mental sanity, i was more than ready to move on to my present role in private equity. i had received my offer from my current employer the day before thanksgiving last year (ironically), and things couldn't have worked out any better. with the credit crisis beginning to rear its ugly head in the fall of 2007, i seized the opportunity to make the jump from the investment banking world to private equity. when i left my previous job in february 2008, things on wall street (especially at the big banks) began to sour; and while i'd like to think that i had some type of special insight in terms of the timing of my departure, it was really more fortuitous than anything else. i really couldn't have imagined the meltdown that we're experiencing today. as i look at what's been happening across all the big banks, i definitely felt like i dodged a bullet -- it's incredible how quickly and how severely conditions on wall street have deteriorated, and i think that if i had waited just a few more months before pursuing my current career goals, things probably wouldn't have worked out as well for me.

i'm hoping that economies worldwide will begin to stabilize sometime before the end of 2009. however, in the meantime, i count my blessings every day for the job i have. obviously we're far from immune from all the stuff that's happening in the markets. there are any number of "pundits" out there who believe that private equity will be the next shoe to drop; i hope that they're wrong, but it's too early to tell. but as long as i still have my job, i'll remain grateful for the people with whom i work (all of whom i admire and respect) and the new things i've been learning every day. furthermore, i feel like this is the line of work that i can see myself doing for the long haul, which is pretty cool. it's definitely true when people say that you're more likely to appreciate a good thing after you've gone through the bad -- for me, it's nice to finally be part of a normal workplace and to be able to wake up in the morning actually feeling excited about work every day.

my health -- if i had written a similar blog entry in 2007, it's not particularly likely that i would have been as thankful about my health as i am now. in january 2007, i began to experience soreness in my lower back that i thought was the result of hitting the gym too hard a couple of times. my workout routine was pretty standard, and included deadlifts and leg squats at the time (and which i no longer do). i figured that resting for a couple days would make things better, but in fact my back only got worse. i decided to skip out on the gym for the rest of the week in hopes that i would feel better, but for some reason, things continued to get worse. i recognized that my job was getting progressively stressful, but it never really occurred to me to get checked out by a physician until i started experiencing tingling and loss of sensation in my right leg. eventually, the condition worsened, i couldn't sit for more than 20 minutes without experiencing dull pain in my right leg, and the only way to shake the pain off and regain sensation in my leg was to stumble around for a couple minutes until the nerve compression subsided.

eventually, things got bad enough in march 2007 that i decided to get an MRI, and also see an orthopedist and physiatrist about my condition. i ended up getting diagnosed with herniated discs at L3-L4 and L5-S1. while herniated discs are fairly common back injuries, it was a weird experience for me to go through as an otherwise healthy and physically active 23-year-old male. but evidently the herniations were severe enough that there was considerable compression against my sciatic nerve, which is what caused my lower back and leg to lose feeling from time to time.

fortunately, after three epidural injections in my spine (even under local anesthesia, having a huge needle being stuck in between your vertebrae is not a fun experience) and over a year of going to physical therapy twice a week, i'm feeling a lot better. while there were times during which i felt resigned to having back pain for the rest of my life, i never lost my overall optimism. i have to give a lot of credit to my physicians and physical therapists, and also attribute a big part of my improvement to my being in a much better work environment. in fact, i now feel as healthy as i've ever been. my overall conditioning has allowed me to hit the weight room twice a week, do yoga once a week, and compete on a dallas USTA men's tennis team. i never really figured i'd be able to exercise as much as i do especially given the injuries i've experienced over the years, but here i am. life has a funny way of working out for the better sometimes.

relationships -- the last thing i'm grateful for this year is a bit different from the other four things i mentioned, at least in the sense that it's now just a thing of the past. but it would be unfair for me not to be thankful for my relationship with my most recent girlfriend. jane and i had dated since may 2006, and we went out for over two years. i'm single now and am happy with the way things are going; that said, jane was a major reason for the good times in my life during the last two years and i wish her all the best. being with jane taught me the importance of patience, compassion, and understanding. it also helped me realize how important it is to make time for people i know, and that i'd rather have a good work-life balance than be a corporate slave (no matter how much anyone pays me).

i could probably write more about things that have happened in the last year, but i'm ready to put my pen down. i'll let some photos do the talking from here:

LEFT: w/ friends for my 24th birthday @ zanzibar in nyc (dec '07); RIGHT: w/ mom and sis @ the christmas markets in munich last december

LEFT: w/ mom in innsbruck, with austrian alps in the background; RIGHT: in front of schonnbrun palace in vienna

LEFT: w/ jane @ aquavit cafe in nyc; RIGHT: skiing w/ jane in the poconos (jan '08)

LEFT: more skiing in the poconos w/ friends; RIGHT: w/ jane @ bond st in nyc (feb '08)

LEFT: my going-away dinner @ aja in nyc (feb 2008); RIGHT: going-away gathering, part II @ morgans hotel in nyc

LEFT: my apartment complex in dallas; RIGHT: the interior of my apartment (before it got cluttered with all my junk)

LEFT: @ some beach in aruba (sep 2008); RIGHT: halloween in nyc

LEFT: more halloween craziness; RIGHT: with friends & fellow alums @ stanford leading matters conference in dallas (nov '08)

well, that's pretty much the last year of my life in a nutshell. i hope you guys enjoyed the mini slideshow.

what have you been most thankful for in 2008?

Friday, November 07, 2008

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:08:14 GMT

some post-election thoughts
hi all! it's been so long since i updated my xanga that it took me a couple minutes to find the button that allowed me to create a new weblog. anyway, it's good to be back again -- i'm surprised that i still manage to get a couple hundred visitors a day given the dormancy of this blog, but can definitely appreciate the readership (or at least what little readership i still have).
anyhow, now that the election is over, i suppose it's a moot point for me to articulate all the reasons why people should or shouldn't have voted for a certain candidate. besides, it's never really been my preference to turn my blog into apolitical sounding board (though some of my readers might argue that i would have been better off turning this blog into something else -- anything else -- as opposed to not updating it for eight months, as it were).
that said, as a centrist republican, it was hard for me to see mccain lose the election, but with the way things shaped up over the last couple months with respect to internal factors (like the vastly disparate quality of the candidates' campaigns themselves as well as their selection of running-mates) or current world affairs (such as our economy, war, international trade, and so forth), the outcome of the election seemed like a foregone conclusion.
it's generally the case that charisma and the power of rhetoric always reach far when addressing the masses, and that was particularly evident in this election. now the beauty contest is now over, it's time to put aside the fancy political chit-chat and see what mr. obama can do for our country. all things considered, however, i feel grateful about being an american citizen and having had the opportunity to choose between two pretty qualified candidates. i'm also not a raving political nut, and can thus respect the views and opinions of others. hopefully better things are to come with a new man in office (keeping my fingers crossed).
on a lighter note, this newsflash just came in: Obama Supporters Devastated By Election Win! changing gears for a minute, we now continue our coverage of the terrible aftermath of barack obama's victory, which has left obama supporters across the nation with nothing to talk about..." hopefully this youtube clip adds a bit of humor to your day, regardless of your political persuasion:

happy friday, folks!

Please help China

Thu, 15 May 2008 15:20:41 GMT

I didn't think it'd be so soon before I'd be writing my next xanga entry given my tedency to procrastinate, but given the recent earthquakes in China, we really need to rally together again and help those in need. It's important to recognize that the first and foremost issue ought to be that of humanitarianism, which should far transcend any underlying political agenda out there.

As a way of background, sources have most recently estimated the death toll to be 20,000 in Sichuan province alone, and this doesn't even include the people that are missing or buried under the rubble. Granted, some might argue that it might not be the Chinese government's proclivity to ask for outside aid either, but the fact that they have issued a rare public appeal for relief, food, and equipment should give some type of indication of the severity of the conditions there. Feel free to read the WSJ for a recent update on things: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121083757999794937.html?mod=hps_us_whats_news

Fortunately, the Chinese government (as compared with the political institutions of several other nations) have made it easier for outsiders like us to help: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-05/15/content_8176508.htm

I sincerely hope you'll consider helping out the people that need it most. There are a variety of organizations that are assisting in the relief efforts, including the following:

American Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org/news/in/profiles/Intl_profile_ChinaEarthquake.html
China Consolate: http://www.nyconsulate.prchina.org/eng/xw/t434656.htm

Remember that your donations to help China are tax-deductible (again, why give your hard-earned money to the IRS when you can help save other people's lives?), and anything you give will add up. Your money goes a lot further in that side of the world than it does here. No donation is too small, either -- if you can forgo that $5 coffee at Starbucks today or the $10 ticket to the movies this weekend, you'll be able to help provide food and cotton blankets to families in China that no longer have a place to call home. And what could be better than that?

Cheers,
Eric

Myanmar Disaster Relief

Wed, 07 May 2008 18:07:58 GMT

Hey guys, I hope all is well. It's been seemingly ages since I wrote in this blog, and part of the reason I haven't gotten around to it is because I haven't been able to come up with "real content." Well, actually, that's not totally true -- since the last time I wrote, I've vacationed in Europe, moved to a different part of the country, and started a new job...and really, all of those things have been a reason why I've been a bit busy to write. But recent events around the world have reminded me that what I've done lately in my own life is comparatively unimportant anyway, so I'd rather write about those things instead.

With the death toll in Myanmar already estimated at 25,000 (according to the Myanmar government) and potentially growing to some multiple of that, I hope you'll consider helping out people who need money more than we do. Every major charitable organization is helping out in the relief, and you can contribute to the charity of your choice here:

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/impact

You can also give to UNICEF or Direct Relief through Google Checkout, and it literally takes about 30 seconds to send in your donation:

http://www.google.com/myanmarcyclone/

I know work can be pretty stressful and all (I certainly feel that way sometimes), but at least we all have a place we call home and we're able to put food on the table. Look at this as an opportunity for you to do something awesome today and give help to people that actually need it. Also, remember that your donations are tax-deductible, and the people in Myanmar definitely need your money more than the IRS, even if they don't ask for it literally.

Cheers,
Eric

edited 2008.05.09: myanmar gov't seizes food and supplies sent in by the U.N.?!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:08:46 GMT

still here...

it's been over nine months since i last wrote in this xanga, as "real life" just seemed to take over and i never actually got back into the swing of writing here. everything'sbeen good -- i'm in good health and in good spirits, and justenjoying some much-needed vacation time with my family. some of you might be wondering what's been happening in my life, and the reality is...not a whole lot! i'm still the same old me.

well, i guess it's not quite true that my life was exactly as it was the last time i wrote here -- perhaps some new interests, new travels, new career aspirations, new friends, etc.? well, i have nearly a year of stuff to catch up on, and i'll make it a point to write about some of this soon since i definitely don't want to forget about everything that happened in 2007. (edit: just don't hold me to it!)

nonetheless, i just wanted to write and wish you all a merry christmas and happy holidays - hope you guys have a terrific time with your family and friends.

guten nacht!
-eric

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 23:58:32 GMT

my first trip to asia
one of my new year's resolutions was to improve my punctuality, since i feel like i'm chronically cutting it close to deadlines and appointments all the time. maybe it's the result of having too many things going on in my life, or perhaps it's because i've just been disorganized...i'm not really too sure, but i feel like i'm always in a mad rush to jam everything into my day. fortunately, i've been able to improve my punctuality in real life, though i guess there's still room for improvement in terms of updating my xanga when i say that i will...anyway, i'll leave this for another post.
anyway, i had originally planned to write about my vacation to china several weeks ago, but better late than never, right? besides, this being the first time i'd ever been to asia, it was an experience i wasn't going to forget anytime soon, anyway. in fact, i'd been looking forward to the trip for several months, in so many ways. first, being able to take two weeks off from work made me feel pretty stoked just thinking about it, mostly because 2006 was such a transitional year in my life. at times, it seemed like just as i was getting settled into a new job, i'd feel like work would pile up endlessly and it eventually became pretty challenging to maintain some semblance of a respectable work-life balance. however, i knew that i'd make the most of my vacation, and leaving my blackberry at home and being out of touch/out of sight was a scenario that seemed almost too good to be true.
that being said, i was most excited about the trip because it would be an opportunity for me to learn more about where my ancestry came from. i knew it would be a culturally enriching experience that would expose me to many sights i'd never witnessed before, and i was just as excited to be spending quality time with my family. free time seems so hard to come by these days, but i was definitely happy about being able to spend the holidays with the people closest to me.
mom, tracy and i flew out from new york city on december 22 and first stopped in los angeles to meet up with our grandparents. then came the 16-hour flight straight to guangzhou. i'd never taken a flight longer than nine hours before, so i wasn't really sure what to expect. fortunately, it wasn't as bad as i expected, and i ended up passing most of the time by sleeping, reading a GMAT book, and speaking with random passengers on the plane that congregated towards the back (it actually felt a lot better just to stand up beause the seats were so cramped and there was very little leg room).
anyway, when we finally landed in china, i prepared to take as many photos as i could. and since a picture is worth a thousand words, i'll let some of my favorite photos do the talking, with some captions and narratives scattered here and there. (click photos to enlarge)
2006.12.24: we arrived in guangzhou on the morning of new year's eve. one of the places we first visited was the memorial of sun yat-sen, father of modern china. here i am doing my best attempt to roll with the man himself

over the course of the tour, we made several stops at various large merchandise shops, i.e. tourist traps. one such stop was at a pearl store in guangzhou. personally, i would have much preferred to spend more time visiting the local villages and parks instead of going to these stores, but i guess most group tours are like this. tour companies send the tourists to these places and hope they buy stuff, because they get a pretty significant commission off any sales. i hung around the store for a few minutes listening to random salespeople trying to pitch me their pearls, but much to my chagrin, the pearls were similar in price but of lesser quality than stuff you could find in the united states (according to mom). what a rip!! after a while, i decided not to waste anymore time at the store and instead went to do some "pearl catching" of my own. as it turned out, i needed to go no further than the parking lot to find a giant oyster with lots of huge pearls.

i wish we had more time to explore guangzhou since it's become such a rapidly evolving and commercially important city in recent years (not to mention that it's where my father and his family came from). however, our group tour had a lot of land to cover in just a week and a half, so we boarded a plane later that evening to guilin.
2006.12.25: after sleeping like a baby that night in my attempts to recover from jet lag, i felt a bit more refreshed the next day. here's a scenic shot of elephant trunk hill park with li jiang river in the background, taken on christmas day.

2006.12.26: the day after christmas, we went to visit the reed flute cave. the cave was named as such because of the abundant reeds that grew outside the cave's entrance, which were commonly used to make flutes (see the picture on the left). it was created by an ancient underground river, and interestingly, it was used for many years as a hideout during wars, most recently as an air raid shelter during world war II. the illumination you see in the photo on the right is produced by colored lights, and it makes for a pretty amazing scene with all the stalegmites and stalectites.

2006.12.27: on december 27 (my birthday!), we boarded a plane again to kunming, the capital of yunnan province. yunnan is the most southwest region of china, and borders vietnam, laos, and myanmar. literally meaning "south of the clouds," the province is known for its beautiful scenery, natural and diverse topography, and lots of minority tribes (i think there are about 30 or so). one site that we visited was the stone forest park, a huge national park with huge limestone formations that resemble a forest from afar. in addition to the amazing rock formations, there's also a giant er-hu in the middle of the park. what the heck?! it definitely didn't fit with the natural landscape. it was pretty random, but at least it made for a good photo opportunity for a fob pose.

2006.12.28: we drove to dali, the capital of the tang dynasty. one place we visited was the three pagodas, which are located less than a mile from the main town. the main pagoda (qianxun ta) is one of the tallest sites of buddhist worship in chinese history, and was built during the tang dynasty (around 840 a.d.), while the two smaller pagodas were built about a hundred years later during the sung dynasty. aside from the incredible architecture (they were built over the span of several decades using mostly brick and white mud), they've literally withstood the test of time, having survived several major earthquakes over many centuries. here i am with my sister, mom, and grandma.

later that evening, we visited the old city, where we stumbled upon the dali hotel. no, we didn't stay here, and i actually don't even know if it's a real hotel...but at the very least, it's a small reminder of how disparate these people's standard of living is compared to the "american dream" that we know and love. in fact, when we visited some of the smaller local villages, we learned that the equivalent of $5.00 US could feed dinner to a family for an entire week. nonetheless, seeing how happy some of these people were to be with their family and friends in spite of relatively barren living conditions gave me a newfound appreciation for all the things we enjoy in the western world. in fact, we've not only been blessed with good food, transportation and high technology, but also with drinkable water, toilet paper, public sewage, and probably so many other things that have become so easy to taken for granted.

2006.12.29: we spent more time in the old city, which is largely inhabited by the bai (literally meaning "white") tribe. it's one of 55 minority ethnic groups in china, and the primary group inhabiting yunnan province. here we are with several bai women in their traditional tribal dresses (left), and a shot of the old city at night (right).

2006.12.30: we stayed in lijiang for the next couple of days. lijiang's old town goes back over 800 years and was once a major trade city, known for its elaborate waterways and bridges. nowadays, the city is rapidly modernizing as it has become a major tourist attraction -- our local guide said that over half of the city's revenues are derived from tourism. however, we made it a point to spend as much time as we could in the old town in order to get a real taste of what the native culture was like.
here, mom and i do our best impression of bai soldiers (left); later in the day, mom joins some of the local musicians (right)

and finally, a very scenic shot of the baishui river with the snowcapped mountains in the background

2006.12.31: we spent the last morning of our tour at black dragon lake, where tracy made a new friend.

2007.01.01-2007.01.06: our tour of mainland china ended on new year's eve, and it was incredible how quickly time flew by. we spent the first week of the new year in hong kong, where i felt much more at home. we spent most of our time in tsim sha tsui, where we stayed at the renaissance and intercontinental hotels near victoria harbour. it was just like new york city in so many ways, with tons of people everywhere, lots of skyscrapers and high-rises, and stuff going on at what seemed like every hour of the day. if nyc is the city that never sleeps, i felt that hong kong came pretty close. in addition, unlike mainland china where most people spoke mandarin and my mastery of the dialect was intermediate at best, i felt much more comfortable getting around hong kong, since everyone spoke english, cantonese, or both.
arriving in hong kong was somewhat of a culture shock, given what we'd seen and experienced on our tour of mainland china. compared tosome of the rural areas that we'd visited just a fewdays before, the contrast was like night and day - hong kong was as modernized and as westernized as i could have imagined, whereas some parts of mainland we'd visited still had quite a ways to go in terms of economic and social development.
compared to nyc, hong kong isn't a big city from a geographical point of view, but there's just so much going on there and i liked it just the same. GREAT food (not only dim sum/yum cha, but lots of international cuisines too), pleasant people, awesome nightlife, and lots of shops -- i don't think i've ever seen so many stores in my life before, and even though i'm not a huge shopper, it was nice being just in time for the post-holiday sales.
here i am at stanley market (lots of imitation merchandise and "engrish" clothing for cheap!!); uncle ricky and i at lan kwai fong (fun nightlife, though most of the people there were expatriates, not locals)

central skyline from across the harbour in tsim sha tsui

anyway, while i'm pretty sure i'll be back to hong kong (either for business or for pleasure), it could be a while before i return to some of those areas on the mainland, since there are still so many sites in this world that i haven't seen yet but would like to visit. that said, i really enjoyed the trip and i'm happy i could share the experience with my family (and with you xanga readers). i highly recommend a trip to guilin and yunnan because it'll really give you a very different perspective on china from what you'd likely see in the main cities. and while i get the sense that these places are beginning to become much more popular as tourist sites, i still wouldn't characterize them as being overly touristy, which makes it easier for one to appreciate the native culture, minority tribes, and natural scenery. it's so different from the everyday culture and society that most people in the states are used to. however, but i think that if you just open your mind and allow yourself to take in the whole experience, you'll be pretty amazed by the stuff you see...it's just so different from anything you'd see every day, and definitely a great escape from the hustle and bustle of new york city.
i hope you enjoyed the photos! until next time...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 03:51:34 GMT

please help me recover from jet lag
hey guys! thanks so much for all the birthday wishes, and i hope you all have been having a great 2007 so far. as for myself, i left hong kong on saturday and arrived back in new york on sunday morning. i tried to convince my body as soon as i boarded the plane that i was actually in "eastern time," but to no avail -- my internal body clock has been completely out of whack. i actually slept from 9am till 9pm on sunday, but i've been awake since that time. clearly, unlike most new yorkers, i'm still on asia time. needless to say, my first day back in the office was rough...really rough. who knew staying conscious was so damn difficult?
i'm hoping that if i just go to bed a bit earlier than usual, i'll be okay tomorrow. however, something tells me that the road to recovery might not be so easy. do you have any quick and easy tips for getting over jet lag?
anyway, although vacations never seem to be long enough, i'm grateful i had a chance to visit asia for the first time and to share that experience with my family, while also meeting some pretty cool people along the way. gotta catch some sleep now, but i'll definitely share some pictures and write more about my journeys this weekend soon. until then...

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 14:39:04 GMT

merry christmas from china!
hey all! i hope you're all having a terrific holiday. been a while since i last wrote, but i'm checking in from a small internet bar in guilin, china. i'm taking a tour across various cities in south and western china along with my mom, sister and grandparents. we'll going from one city to another through new year's eve, after which we'll be spending a few nights in hong kong. i'll be flying back to the US on january 5.
anyhow, it's actually my first time in asia, and surprisingly, i was minimally affected by the 20 or so hours that i'd spent on airplanes. we touched down in guangzhou around 6 in the morning on christmas eve, where we spent our first day. we've since spent the last couple nights in guilin. in a few hours, we'll be back on a plane en route to kunming. as you might imagine, constantly traveling from one city to another, both on land and through the air, has been pretty exhausting.
that being said, it's nonetheless been a real eye-opening experience for me. we saw some of the most incredible views of the natural scenery and mountains while sailing down the river in guilin this morning. having grown up in new york city for practically all my life, i couldn't help but be amazed by these sightings, which were things to which i was completely unaccustomed.
however, what really made me feel like a complete foreigner in a completely foreign land was observing the lifestyle differences of the locals in rural china compared to the life that many of us enjoy in the States. here are some things that i've seen in guilin so far:
-some families live on small "junk boats" along the waterfront because they cannot afford to own a stationary home of any kind

-small children bathing and washing their clothes in the river (shame on me for those times i complained when there wasn't warm water in the dormitory showers...)

-old women that make their living by digging by the shore and selling bags of sand to construction workers (call me ignorant, but i guess i've never known anyone who made their living selling bags of sand in the US)

-people that recognize you as an "American" and will do anything to earn extra cash, even if it means marking down their prices by 80-90% -- because each and every dollar can make a difference in their lives. as an example, one lady sold me two sets of 24 postcards this morning for 5 yuan (the equivalent of $0.65). $0.65 doesn't even buy you ONE postcard in the US. granted, the cost of living in china is considerably less than that of the US, as are the costs of labor -- but it was shocking to me how inexpensive these cards were, especially since the photos were of such good quality. perhaps the only thing more shocking to me was how happy the woman was to receive the 5 yuan from me.
when i compare what i've seen in rural china to the lifestyle we've grown so comfortable with in the United States, i realize that we've really been spoiled rotten by all the luxuries we enjoy in the States, suh as drinkable tap water, toilets that actually have seats and covers (as opposed to squatting pits or holes in the floor), and not the least, a democracy that allows us to speak as we please while worrying little about potential consequences.
it's too early to tell how exactly my first trip to asia will affect me, as there's still so much more that i'll be seeing in the next week and a half. however, i can already say for sure that it's been a humbling experience to see people living on such meager wages and possessions, yet still seem to be sufficiently happy just being in the company of family and friends -- and it really makes me feel so fortunate to be living the "american dream." whenever i think i have it rough from a stressful day at work, i can also think about the farmers in rural china that work virtually all day and night just to earn the equivalent of $100 US per month -- and then i'll realize that i don't have it so bad after all.
i know that what i've seen in the last couple of days has helped me to better appreciate the little things in life. i hope this impact will last because i know it'll help keep me grounded and humble, though i also wonder if spending two weeks in a foreign country will be enough to leave a permanent impact on the way i think about things.
how have *your* experiences abroad impacted or changed your outlook on life?
anyway, as much as i'd like to expand on these thoughts, i'll be back on the road in the morning, so it's time for me to sign off and catch some sleep. i probably won't have a chance to write here again until i'm back in the States again, when i'll also be 23 years old and the year will be 2007. it's amazing how time has come and gone so quickly. however, i definitely miss writing here, and i promise to share lots of pictures of my trip with you all once i return.
in the meantime, i hope you had a wonderful holiday, and i wish you all a happy new year -- hopefully you guys will all get to party it up in style. see you in 2007!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 02:22:00 GMT

happy three months!
it's been three months since i last posted here (not that anyone's counting), but i'm finally back again. i'm glad most of you guys have stuck around and are checking in every now and again. of course, some of my (ex-) subscribers have kicked me to the curb for unbeknownst reasons, but hey, it's not the first time i've been rejected. i'll live, and so will this xanga.
overcomitting and underdelivering
figuring out what i wanted to write about was actually pretty easy this time around. i had previously indicated that i wouldn't go on an extended hiatus...and, sure enough, it didn't happen. elsewhere in life, i've noticed myself committing to too many things, and sometimes i spread myself so thin that i end up not making good on my commitments (as chinese_cigarettebarbie duly noted in my previous post). some days, i feel like there are so many things i want to do, and i have to force everything into my schedule in the hopes of having some shot at achieving all the things i've set out to do. other times, i feel like i stack so many things on my plate, and one misstep could cause everything to topple. i think the reason i feel this way is because i have a very defined sense of work-life balance, and it's something i consciously think about everyday and use as a guiding point in my life. however, maybe my conception of "balance" isn't so balanced after all.
what does work-life balance mean to you? for me, having this balance simply means trying my best to establish my career, while also making myself available to my family and friends. it's really that simple. the only reason i mention my job first is because it's the single most time-consuming thing that i have going for me right now, but if my company would be so kind as to send me my paycheck every 15th and 30th of the month and excuse me from having to show up at work, life would be so much easier. i guess most of us don't have it so easy, though. anyway, in most cases, i'm able to get my work done, after which i can liberate myself from the shackles of corporate culture and spend time with the people i really care about. however, in other instances, i find that i'm so intent on doing both that i'm not truly able to accomplish either of them.
for a while, i wasn't sure if this happened because i was ambitious or disorganized, though it's probably some combination of both. however, i realized lately that i'd rather make fewer promises to myself and others, than to take on more than i can handle and run the risk of becoming flaky or undependable. while it's important to stay organized in order to maintain some sort of balance between work and play, i've recently learned that it can be even more important to remain flexible, especially when not being able to deliver on your promises and decisions can negatively impact the people around you.
when was the last time you were able to do all the things you set out to achieve on a given day? does this question even matter to you? as for myself, i can't even remember the last day i'd accomplished all the things i wanted to do. if i had to guess, it was sometime during the summer following high school graduation, when i didn't really have any obligations. i'm not certain, but i've also learned that it doesn't really matter anyway. i'd rather make sure that i have time and energy for my friends and family, and to reciprocate the same care that they've provided for me.
so, to all potential employers that are reading my xanga: i apologize in advance if i've disappointed you, but maybe i'm just not that hardcore. we all know that the workflow never ends, and some work was just meant to be put off till tomorrow. i'd rather spend my time cultivating friendships today.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 02:47:05 GMT

things could always be worse

well, a couple days have turned into a couple weeks, but i’m finally back. hopefully this post will get me back into the swing of things and i'll no longer vanish into obscurity again. my goal is to update more often, perhaps sacrificing length (and potentially insight) in favor of frequency. however, you all seemed to have liked my chuck norris entry, and i'm sure chuck likes you right back.

anyway, a few things have happened in my life during the last couple of months, and although i've had time to react, i haven't always had time to reflect. this partially explains why i haven't had a chance to write in my xanga. for one, i started a new job at the end of may, and it's taken a lot of time and energy to get ramped up and acclimated to a new work environment. of course, this came after i'd only been with my previous firm for a few months. it was tough leaving my former bank -- career opportunities were abundant and the learning experience was great, not to mention that i really enjoyed the work culture. some of my colleagues there were among the most inspirational and intelligent people i've met, and i felt an adrenaline rush going to work in a high-energy environment every day. it was a tough decision leaving a place like that, especially when i knew there were people who could look out for me and my career development. however, i also saw attractive opportunities and the potential to excel at my present firm. after ruminating about the potential transition for a couple of weeks and trying to figure out what i wanted to do with my life, i decided to accept the new position.

initially, it was tough getting adjusted to my new workplace. i was mired in a swamp of paperwork, had little idea how to navigate their technology, and didn't really know anyone around the office. every time something went wrong, i wondered if i would have been better off staying at my old firm. for at least a couple of weeks, things just seemed so stressful and i'd forgotten about some of the observations i'd made on may 22. however, once i stopped worrying and started thinking more positively, everything started to go more smoothly. it's not that i changed anything fundamentally about what i did or how i did them -- rather, it had everything to do with my regaining a positive attitude that i'd abandoned for some unknown reason when i started my new job. now that i feel much more comfortable, i'm thoroughly convinced things could have gone well either at my present firm or at my former firm, since i'm the kind of person who makes the most of every opportunity. however, i've also realized that great opportunities can be spoiled if we are lazy, ungrateful, or unlucky. we owe it to ourselves to be optimistic and to make things the best that they can be.

of course, trying to maintain a baseline level of optimism won't necessarily prevent stress from sinking in -- it's only normal to feel under the gun sometimes. however, while nobody should vilify a person for coming up short every now and again, i think people also owe it to themselves not to give up every time they find themselves in a jam. after all, things could always be worse.

i admit there are times when i've felt frustrated about things at work and it seemed more natural, or at least easier, just to give up. but i've made a much more concerted effort to keep my cool, seeing as how it seldom behooves someone to be negative. the way i've seen it, complainers don't usually get much respect, but i guess it's hard to get what you don't deserve. more relevantly, when i'm feeling stressed about my job, i think about other people, including some that i know, who may have much more strenuous lives. that's when i realize how lucky i am to have my job.

even on the most stressful days, i'll still have my aeron chair, air conditioning in my office, the camaraderie of intelligent and caring people, expensed dinners, and free cab rides home when i'm stuck at the office late at night. that's far more cushy than 99% of other jobs out there. however, rather than getting caught up in the miscellaneous "perks," i realize how fortunate i really am. this realization has forced me to be more humble and work even harder. perhaps it's because i know that there are plenty of people out there who'd gladly take my job from me if i don't work hard and put in my dues.

all this might beg the question of whether or not i think i'm overpaid. in actuality, whether or not i feel i'm overpaid doesn't really matter -- most of us are overpaid to some extent. if we're determined to get ahead in life, i feel like we owe it to ourselves to work hard all the time and never complain about the things we have to do. maybe it doesn't feel so great spending 70-80 hours a week cooped up in the office, but for some of us, this is the path we've decided to choose. and just as we've been fortunate enough to have the choice of working, we also have the option of being some bum on the street if a job seems like such a terrible burden. as i spend more time in an industry where it seems almost fashionable for some people to demonstrate misplaced bravado or to splurge unnecessarily on trivial goods, i've increasingly recognized the importance of being humble and grounded -- sentiments that sometimes have eluded me in the past but hopefully won't escape me in the future. after all, a good job -- or any job for that matter -- is a privilege, not a right.

anyway, i have to head to bed soon -- another long day of work awaits me tomorrow, but i'm actually looking forward to it. i'm determined to see if my new outlook on things will help give me that much-needed adrenaline rush, but i'm curious to hear what your thoughts are, too.

when things get tough, what do you do to keep yourself motivated?